The Newbie Begins

All right, everyone who knows me but has no interest in this subject can completely ignore it and you're absolved from feeling guilty about hurting my feelings (unless I think you're good for some really excellent dark chocolate. Then I'll guilt trip you to the max.). This blog is just hanging here until it finds some knitterly-crocheterly blogland paradise to which it can transfer its wee little self. *

And on to the real stuff (the rest of you can go listen to a song or something).

Okay, so there are tons of knitting and crocheting blogs out there. Does the world really need one more?

But you know, those blogs are created by knitters and crocheters who know what they are doing.

Oh sure, they make mistakes too, but they're generally not what you'd call beginners. If they make mistakes, it's on complicated stuff that makes your left eyelid twitch when you read about it, and possibly your right eyelid too. They're the type of people who could knit half the piece backward and still have it come out looking right.

They'd never, for example, mix up which is Continental and which is English style knitting. Especially when they could do both with equal ease.

(Okay, so yeah, I can do both types of knitting. I just never remember which one it is I'm doing.)

They never have to stop to puzzle out what the difference between Fair Isle and intarsia is, nor wonder which one they're doing even after they cast on.

(I do that, too. That's what I get for taking a plain pattern and, ahem, tweaking it.)

They've never had to look up trbl three times in a row on the same square because they could not remember how many times to yarn over.

They've never made the mistake of reading about both the UK and US designations for the same crochet stitch. The double in the UK is the single in the US, the UK treble the US double, and so on.

(And yes, that was a contributing factor to the need to re-check the yarn overs. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.)

I mean, I'm sure they did at one time. I'm sure they all began like me, not like Elizabeth Zimmerman's spirit had inhabited their bodies (if someone knows the name of a crochet master, chuck it at me) and thus they could knit or crochet blindfolded with one hand tied behind their backs. Or, like a Veggie Tales cucumber, with no hands.

But then again, seeing their stuff, I could be wrong about the above. Maybe EZ in all her kindness, when granting the gift of inspired knitting, missed the quiet chick in the back left corner of the room. Though from what I hear, she didn't miss much (I'm sorry I missed her).

But me? I'd settle for at least being as good as Gromit, even if he never seems to get past the middle of his row in any given episode.

But I'm not. Gromit's got me beat.

I'm recklessly daring (Think I'll learn color work. Hey, here's a pattern with 5 colors! For my first try at it ever! Once more into the breach, dear friends!), wildly grateful when I discover just how much better something looks blocked when I was ready to weep over its shriveled, lumpy little pre-blocked stitches (more color work), and while I'm at it (I've made a whole crocheted bird with the sadistically named "fun fur" after all), why don't I not only change the colors on the baby blanket kit I purchased, but for a laugh, chuck the teddy bears and design dinosaurs instead, since that's what said baby's room will be decorated in? I mean, dinosaurs must be easy, right?

And, er, I'm also surrounded by non-crafters who keep looking at me a bit askance. (Thanks to Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's books, though, I've found that's not uncommon.)

My kids don't like to listen to knitting and crocheting talk past their bedtime, claiming falling asleep in class gets them in trouble (where are their rebel genes?!?), and though my boyfriend takes an active interest in what I do, I've yet to corrupt him to the point picking up a hook or casting on some socks or some such for me (I'm working on that).

But if there are any of you out there who also belong in the "Hey, yo, I'm a newb here" class of crafters, take heart. Rather than wonder how you can get from where you are to where they are, know that there are knitters out there who are right with you (or in my case, possibly far behind!! :P). And you've just met one who's willing to publish photographic proof of that.

Soon. I promise.

*And this is the new place to which my blog has come to live. Huzzah! The blog is so excited.